That’s a fat wean you’ve got there
I’m with Sam and JJ in a restaurant. A man comes in with his daughter, she’s around seven, I would say, and a little chunky. Sam says ‘that’s a beautiful daughter you have there’, the man smiles.
“Hello sweetheart! You want to keep fit, eh? Not eat so much or you will end up veeeeeery fat.”
The man doesn’t smile.
Foreigner top trumps
When I run in Bo, all the kids shout puh mei, which is white man in Mende, I’m told that it literally translates as stranger. In Makeni, the people are Temne so they should opoto which apparently derives from early Portuguese traders in that area. From Porto.
When you run near south east Asians, they all shout Chinese, as they seem to win the battle for rarity points.
I’m here all week, try the cruin cruin
Ernest Bai Koroma is temne limba so I guess he gets annoyed really quickly and then spends hours apologising…
Well, it is a massive imposition
I hate when people in work make a massive deal about asking for something really small. I feel like saying, come on guys I’ve been here for six months surely you’ve worked out by now that I’m not a total dick.
Mister Sow comes into the office, I love Mister Sow he’s a really funny guy. Mister Sow at a police roadblock is just amazing, slowing down then shooting off shouting ‘fuck off’. It’s amazing. Absolutely amazing. He’s asking if he can put a water in the fridge and asking it like it’s a really big deal. Why don’t you take a cold one out of the fridge instead. ‘Oh, thank you Mister Gareth, thank you so much.’
Come on guys.
I went to Makeni with Sam and our Provincial Salesman, I, Jospeh Jenewai. They came to cheer me on but slept in. Sam said that he saw someone that might have been me, but in my wildest dreams I wasn’t going that fast that you wouldn’t recognise me.
Anyway, I do like Joseph he’s very typical of salespeople that I’ve met pretty much everywhere. But, even so, I do like him. Gift of the gab. Standard in his line of work.
He started telling a story that he had heard on the BBC News the day before, I was only half listening but I heard something about a monkey protesting in the UK, which isn’t impossible I guess, in a zoo, throwing stones, surprised it made the news all the same.
Then I heard him say that it had set fire to itself. It had got itself some fuel and…
I’m sure that this was all completely unconnected to the previous day’s news that a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka had self-immolated in protest at the killing of cows.
Infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it infamy
Hi, I’m John
Hi, I’m Gareth
Oh, you’re the guy that got his head burst open at the Gaelic football!